Settling In

Two weeks into being home and Dad is beginning to settle in quite nicely. We have all gotten into and somewhat used to what the new routine is. Dad has even used the laptop to read his own blog, getting better and better at maneuvering the mouse with his left hand and remembering what links to click on, etc. It’s the first step towards him re-learning the computer.

Friday afternoon Dad had his appointment with his PCP, Dr. Biswas, whom I had never met before, but had heard many things about. We showed up for the appointment quite early, as I had never been to his office and I hate being late. Let me tell you, all the staff in the office was so happy to see Dad! They joked with him and he with them. His nurse joked with me that it was a good thing I was living with them, as she has known some of the issues facing Dad now that he’s home but not quite a 100%. I thought to myself, Dad really does talk to everyone.  

Then Dr. Biswas came in. He and Dad exchanged hellos and then he looked at me and said, “I want to tell you, Rudi is my friend, first above all else. Now I don’t know a lot about you, but you live with them? And you work for the hospital and what is your schedule? And you have a brother who lives in the Camden area? And he runs a bed and breakfast?” I answered all his questions and said to him laughing, “You actually know quite a bit about us Dr. Biswas.” It was quite funny, because as much as Dr. Biswas did know about my brother and me, is how much I also knew about him. And all of that was because of Dad and his outgoing personality. Dr. Biswas asked if he could record himself going over Dad’s chart, because there was so much information to update. I of course had no problem with this. Next thing I knew, he was speaking rapidly into his tape recorder and reading all kinds of reports from Dad’s chart, which has to be 5 inches thick. He is an incredibly fast talker, with a slight accent and every once in a while he would pause and ask me if there was any incorrect information to let him know. It was interesting to listen to him dictate the CT scan reports from all the imaging Dad has had done in the last four months, beginning with the initial emergency room CT scan from 1/2/13, when the 1st stroke occurred. For a brief moment, the scope of the last few months seemed overwhelming to take in. Then the moment passed.

The good news to take away from this visit was the last CT Dad had on 4/15/13 did not reveal any new occurrences, which means there wasn’t any new bleeding on the brain. Dad is scheduled to see a neurologist in the next couple of months, so we are just going to take it easy until then, with twice monthly visits to Dr. Biswas for monitoring. No need to rock the boat yet, with regards to blood thinners. Dad also needs to gain weight, something I have actively been working on. Currently he’s down to 157 from 205 when he was last in the doctor’s office on 12/19/12. With limited or no taste buds, food has been a challenge, but as with everything there is always something to be learned. We saw one of Mom and Dad’s neighbors yesterday, Jack. Jack and his wife have a daughter who several years ago was in a horrible car accident, paralyzing her from the waist down. Jack was telling us after the accident his daughter had no sense of taste and as a result didn’t want to eat. It was a struggle and they had to learn new ways for her to eat but after about a year her taste buds began to return. It was a really great thing for Dad to hear and gave him hope that his taste buds will return, something I am confident will happen. All things are possible, especially as I look at Dad and how far he’s come already.

Fingers

As mentioned earlier, Dad has been able to move his thumb on his right hand quite frequently as of late. While he is still not impressed, any and all improvement is something to be excited about, I don’t care what anyone says. Last night, to help open his awareness to this impressive feat, I put a pen in his right hand and asked him to use his thumb to apply pressure to the rest of his hand, enabling him to hold the pen. The act of doing this validated the fact that improvements from this stroke can and have continued. Finally, this was something tangible for Dad to see and feel.

This morning as I was getting ready for work I noticed dad sitting in his chair stretching his right hand and fingers. I asked him how his hand was. He laid it down next to his side and we both stared at it. All of a sudden I noticed his pinky finger move, then his index finger, then all his fingers. Now they didn’t move much, but they moved.

“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the darkness.” –George Iles. Guess what? The light just came on.   

Images From the Week

Enjoying the afternoon sun

Yes, it didn't take us long to go out to lunch and we went to Geaghans (mmmmm reserve wings)

At Wal-Mart. Since it's a huge warehouse, we thought it best to use their wheelchair accomodations.

Dad and Fritz

Begging dogs

As I said on Facebook, some things like the dogs begging for food and Dad giving them some left over scraps haven't changed!

The Last 5 days

I return to work today, leaving Mom and Dad alone for the day. It will be interesting to find out how it went. I’m sure there won’t be any problems. For myself personally, it will be nice to go home right after work and not have to shoot across town to visit Dad in some kind of facility.

Though, I can’t help but wonder about Dad and how he will do. To report, as of last night, he still does really well walking throughout the house and has those two steps leading from the TV room to the kitchen, down pat now. Sometimes it’s not pretty to watch, but he does it consistently the correct way. Now, let’s get the embarrassing details over and done with and say he doesn’t need to wear adult diapers anymore! And there is no stigma at having to wear adult diapers, they are made for adults for a reason. There is a temporary commode in their bedroom and it’s been working great if Dad gets up in the middle of the night. The few modifications I made with regards to the shower stall, allowed Dad to successfully bath himself. He was very hesitant and nervous at first, but with a little encouragement managed just fine. I on the other hand was a nervous wreck and had visions of him falling and breaking a leg or something. While his right arm is still in a sling, he is still able to move his right thumb, fluidly. Yesterday it actually felt like spring in Maine and so I suggested Dad sit out in the sun. He did twice, during the day, chair facing the warm rays, a slight breeze occasionally blowing by and he loved it.

All of this good news isn’t without its downside. His appetite still hasn’t returned, even with the inclusion of favorite foods. To be honest, from the sounds of it, his taste buds aren’t there and I don’t know if they will return or not. While he gets excited for food, after a bite or two he says it basically all tastes the same. It was revealed to us that Dad’s CT scan on 3/5/13 did show some slight bleeding on the brain still, ending the mystery as to why he was not back on blood thinners for his AFIB. This past Monday I took him for another CT scan and he is scheduled for his first follow up with his PCP next Friday, so we will get the results and what the plan will be then. All we can do is pray his body continues to recover and the bleeding has finally stopped. Always one day at a time, this is the way it is and will be from now on with Dad. Language, it seems, continues to be our biggest challenge. Yes’s and No’s are better, phrases and the beginnings of sentences are there, but all this is stuff I’ve written about before. Once in a while something clear and concise come out. For example, the other night Dad didn’t want dinner so I asked him what he would like instead (you name it, chances are I can whip it up for you). He said he wasn’t hungry. I thought, no we are not doing this. I’ve already been through someone telling me one thing but meaning something else, so I said to him, “I’m not having it. You have to eat.” He then said to me, “Christa, come on, cut it out.” Well I had to smile and laugh at that. It was a really well-spoken sentence! He ended up having some soup and toast and finishing all of it. Needless to say, communication is still difficult and frustrating for everyone, Dad most of all. I cannot even begin to imagine. But we will get there.    

We all took the last five days off and even though I was running around making sure they had this or that, for the most part we just were for five days and that was good. We all needed it. Now it’s time to get back to the grind, get back to therapy, get back to moving forward until the next big thing. I told Dad, when I first brought him home, that he needed to meet certain criteria I had in my mind, before I felt comfortable returning to work and he exceeded all my expectations, as I knew he would.          

Nature

Of any photo I could have taken this weekend, this one epitomizes Dad and what he enjoys. 

April 13, 2013

On the 13th day of the 4th month of the 13th year, day 111 since Dad's stroke, he returned home. I picked him up at 7am (I don't mess around). There was no nostalgia as we left Stillwater. While everyone there has gone on and on about him, what a pleasure he is to work with, how sweet and funny he is, what a great guy he is, Dad has just wanted to come home. I'm not going to lie, I've been slightly nervous, as I've been excited, for him to come home. Nervous, because let's face it, I'm not a trained professional and for four months, Dad has been watched over by trained professionals. 

I can report that as of this Sunday morning, everything is going great. Yesterday we ventured out to Reny's, a real Maine kind of store where they sell a little bit of everything, to get Velcro shoes for Dad. He did really well maneuvering throughout the store. He's slow, but steady right now. At the house I must have counted a dozen times he used the steps from the TV room to the rest of the house  (and yes I cannot help but monitor him for now). While I saw Dad every day at the Hospital or Rehab, none of us have been around him 24/7 in a longtime. So I, personally, wasn't quite sure how he would do with dressing himself, using the bathroom, etc. That was all in my mind, because other than everything just taking longer than usual, Dad has been fine. While it's still an obvious adjustment for all of us, I know he will be OK. I will post some photos later on tonight.            

No Fuss

There is nothing fancy about this railing installed today. It's temporary and can be adjusted with a phone call, but it will do the trick for the time being. 

Today, Dad's contractor Graham showed up to install the recommended railing for the two steps leading from the TV room to the kitchen for Dad. When he and his co-worker were done I walked them outside and we chatted. After they were done putting away their equipment, Graham picked up a broom Dad has in the garage and began to sweep up the sawdust. I immediately said to him, "Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it." Then I paused, laughed and said "It will give me something to do later." They both started laughing and Graham said to me, "That's exactly what Rudi said every time! He would say no no, don't, I'll take care of it. It will give me something to do later." 

We all laughed at this and I was told I am my father's daughter. I needed to laugh today and this statement made my day. The house is ready for Dad as I'm sure he's ready for the house. 

Glitch

As with everything in life, it’s better to not get your expectations up on anything that involves other people, because when a glitch is thrown into the mix, you aren’t disappointed. The plan was to pick Dad up tomorrow after work and return him home. That was the plan. The glitch is Stillwater wants to keep him another couple of days and release him on Friday. I received a call from Rhonda, Dad’s Occupational Therapist this morning. Upon learning that he used to do all the cooking at home, she wanted to have an extra couple of days to get him cooking and properly following the series of events entailed with cooking. While, initially I was disappointed (because of my own selfish needs), it makes sense to focus on this. After all I’m not staying with Mom and Dad forever. Two plus years later and my stuff is still boxed up in their basement to the point I don’t even remember what I have and what I don’t. Clearly I have not settled into living with them. In the end; however, with whatever assistance Mom and Dad might need or not need, Dad is going to have to regain what he can of his former life and cooking is one of those tasks he did and loved doing. The flip side to this is Dad doesn't seem to have much of an appetite anymore (something we hope returns when he returns home) and food in general, while wets his whistle, loses its interest after a bite or two of even his favorite foods. We haven’t tried pizza yet (there is only one good pizza place up here, Finelli’s in Ellsworth) and we haven’t tried steak yet (when driving through Bucksport last week Dad pointed to MacLeod’s the only real restaurant worth anything in Bucksport and they do a mean steak). Both of these establishments have been frequented regularly by my parents and I promised Dad both pizza from Finelli’s and a strip steak from MacLeod’s. I never make a promise I don’t keep.

So what’s a few more days in the grand scheme of things? In the grand scheme of how far Dad's come and we've all come up this point? Not even a drop of water in the pool of life. There's always going to be some glitch somewhere, of this I've learned.   

P.S. Rhonda gushed and gushed about Dad. She doesn’t want him to go and told me as much on the phone! I loved hearing it! I didn’t have kids but I completely understand the pride parents have of their children, especially when people go on and on about them. Come on now, who doesn’t want to hear what a great amazing Dad they have? I could hear that every day and never grow tired of it, because I agree, Dad is pretty amazing.   

Walking

This was the view when I got to Stillwater this morning. Dad had taken himself out of his room and was going for a little walk. It reminded me of the last time I saw him with his therapist in the hospital. That was the first time he had moved his right leg without assistance and it was a very big deal at the time. To see Dad out and about this morning using his cane with no problem was another big deal.

That's all for day. Remember one day at a time. One day at a time.

Home

Dad came home briefly yesterday for his home assessment. It was the first time this year he had been back to Bucksport, the first time since the ambulance took him away he had been back to his house. Although it's been unusually cool this spring, it was still a great sunny day for the drive down. Dad just stared out the window. He commented that all the snow had melted. When he got out of the car at the house, he took a moment to survey his front yard. Then we all headed inside. Hearing Dad's physical therapist Ray remind Dad of the different little things he's supposed to remember when up and moving around, made it think how much we take for granted just walking around. For Dad, he has to be conscious of the different surfaces he's walking  on, whether it's grass, tile, wood, carpet or rugs. He has to be conscious of different doorway thresholds, stable things around him he can use for support, how to properly get into a car. He can't get his AFO (Ankle Foot Orthosis) brace until a minimum of 48 hours before discharge from Stillwater. It's a Medicare rule, where the thought process is since Dad is under the umbrella care of a Skilled Nursing Facility, everything should be provided by them. And they don't do ankle braces. So he has to wait. That's ok though, because it gives him more time and opportunities to continue building on the strength in his right leg.
Dad did really well in the house. There were only a few small recommended modifications made and with the exception of slight difficulty maneuvering a wheelchair into the bathroom (they tested the house for hemi-cane and wheelchair mobility), the house is good to go and Dad is good to return. So it looks like, if all the ducks keep lining up they way they have been, I will pick Dad up Tuesday after work and bring him home for good. The rest of next week will be making sure everyone begins and settles into the new routine and I feel safe knowing Dad is Ok at the house, because while Dad is returning to the familiar, it will all be brand new.                

Today Was A Good Day

Tonight's fortune cookie read

Patience and hard work. Patience and hard work. Today we met again with the social worker and therapists from Stillwater. I arrived about a half hour before the appointment. I hate being late. Dad's physical therapist Ray was there and while we have played phone tag, I had yet to meet him until today. He and Dad were getting ready to walk 19 steps, located on the other side of the building, where Stillwater has assisted living apartments. Dad did a great job! He had a moment before walking up the steps where he had to think about which foot to start with. Going up stairs you want to use your good foot and coming down your bad foot.
Next thing you knew Mom and PJ showed up and we all chatted. We were given a lot of information and lots of decisions to make. In patient, out patient, doctor's appointments to be set up, therapies to now coordinate, it was a lot.
Dad's health, other than recovering from a stroke, is great. All his numbers are where they should be with regards to blood, cholesterol, etc, etc. He has made incredible leaps and bounds in all his therapies and they all commented how great Dad's attitude is, even when he makes mistakes. We set up an appointment for a home assessement Friday afternoon. They want to see how Dad does at the house, getting in and out of bed, manuevering the bathroom and the rest of the house. If all goes well on Friday, Dad gets discharged next week! I cannot begin to explain and words can't describe how excited we all were to hear this news. I was smiling ear to ear from the moment I heard the news.
What more can be said about today? I mentioned previously that Dad had been a teacher. As we were walking out, Dad wheeling himself next to us, Linda, his speech therapist told us that everyone at Stillwater is in agreement that they would have wanted Dad as their teacher. It made me feel so proud that he is my Dad.            

Camping Vacations

I was thinking (sometimes never a good sign) the other day how I haven’t been on a vacation in three years, which then got me thinking about vacations as a child. Dad was a teacher (6^th grade science to be exact), so he had summers off. Given this information you would think that would be great right? One of your parents having the summer off to do things with, have them take you places, etc. etc. The fact of the matter was he could never afford to take a summer off, save the summer of 1985 when we drove as a family out to Colorado to visit friends of Mom and Dad’s. 

Colorado

No, Dad worked every summer, whether it was painting houses he and some friends did on the side or working for the school system with his fellow teachers as part of the summer maintenance crew. No,his summer schedule was really no different than his school year schedule. So we didn’t take many vacations growing up. At least not the kind many of you may think of when you yourself hear the word vacation. What we did do; however, was go on camping trips, first in New Jersey, then, after the summer of ’84, in Maine. 

Cabin rental, Sebec Maine

Sebec Lake sunset

Moosehead Lake

going to secret rock out cropping on Sebec Lake

I remember talking with Dad about vacations one time and he mentioned the fact that we didn’t take a lot of vacations when PJ and I were kids. I remarked it wasn’t anything I felt I had missed out on. Then I said to him, it didn’t matter anyway, because the vacations we did take, taught me about nature. I told him I learned so much from him through camping and just being outdoors that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Something as simple as starting a campfire, would become invaluable as recently as this winter when apparently I was the only one who could start a fire in the wood burning stove at Mom and Dad’s. Amateurs (as I laugh). Growing up, nature became my haven, my church away from the chaos of life and as a result those camping trips became the greatest vacations I could have imagined or asked for. It translated into adulthood, with backpacking, hiking, canoeing, snowshoeing, anything that didn't involve a motor to get to the middle of the forest, the top of the mountain, the other side of a lake. Not really the competitive type, my love of nature propels me to constantly challenge myself every time I hit the trail, alone or with my border collie Loki. All of that is because of Dad and I have him to thank for it. If he hadn’t stubbornly taken us camping every summer growing up I would not have the love of nature that I do, of that I feel certain. I love him for that.